Perspective

The last few weeks have been a crazy ride for me. I have gone from the high of enjoying the new found hobby of running, to being barely able to jog. I put in two many miles over the summer and my knees revolted.
To compensate I started walking all my events because i had burnt out physically but still maintained a high endurance level. Truthfully  i enjoy it more than running. There is no recovery needed unless i did more than a 5k and all i need to do is work on maintaining a 12 minute pace. In fact my first half i didn't have any issues, although it took me over four hours to complete.
The biggest blow to my fitness journey encountered so far was the sudden illness of my mother.
So my main focus now is to take care of her. Yet i realize dealing with moms sickness has caused me to experience chest pains to the point i thought i was going to have a heart attack. All my ripping and racing back and forth to the hospital for her was beginning to leave me in bad shape. I know i can't let myself take ill too.
I have one scheduled race left this year but its virtual and I am considering a Thanksgiving and Christmas walk around the neighborhood to keep my stress down. There were a few more i planned to sign up for but as a caregiver those are not options now.
Thank God i found this road racing journey, its giving me an outlet. Im not the fastest, in fact when the horn sounds I'm all alone but Im out there trying. I feel blessed to be able to move and while the lust for great bling moves some people the medal only serves as a reminder of the birthday goal i set for myself.
It simply was to partake in activity and complete meanful races. I have not been able to enter all the events that fit into the category but I'm making steady peogress.
At the moment my heart is filled with the joy that the lord will be with me as i reclaim my place at lifes table. I've learned it's okay to be selfish and take me time as my mothers caregiver.
As the year ends Im thankful my mother is still around and we still have time to chase some dreams together. Also glad that i live in a state with lots if opportunities to find a weekend race.